Robert told us and then held me in his arms as I screamed, Thats not true! Dont waste your energy or disrupt your well-being with these negative thoughts. Theres no point in worrying about things you cant change. Yet we also need to recognize we can't control that which lies beyond our reach.. Mark Victor Hansen, If youre yelling, youre the one whos lost control of the conversation. You can not control the feelings, they are only a reaction to what is happening.<br>And how we react to what is happening around us depends not on knowing how right or wrong, but on what kind of inner picture of the world a person has formed, what values he dominates.<br><br>Emotions, feelings and thoughts are not a problem in themselves. Similarly, you dont have to like what is taking place, but accepting it lessens your pain and suffering and allows you to choose inner peace and freedom. Dalai Lama Then, let go of what you cant change and spend your time focusing on getting to where you need to be. Observe the outcome of your reactions: Pay close attention to the results of your reactions. - Sitemap. You cant control how long youll need to engage in social distancing, but you can control if you spend that time productively. Dont let the things you cant control hold you back and control your feelings. 2. Epictetus, You control your future, your destiny. Think of the wonderful generosity of, this Chinese company sending face masks to Italy (with a quote from Seneca on them no less. Your email address will not be published. The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Transitions are the birthing pains, alternately exhilarating and difficult, that can bring wondrous, challenging, beautiful changes into our lives. I am struck by how casually we as a nation react to the carnage in Iraq. Earl Nightingale, The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. But we have a say in what we do with our feelings. I am saying: We ought to accept things we cannot change, because sometimes we are powerless to do anything about it. Controlling that beast, that dark side, is what fascinates me. Designed to help you cultivate strength, insight, and wisdom to live your best life. It is an inner acknowledgement of how things are at the moment. We can work with this knowledge, to paraphrase Victor Frankl, to face the challenge of changing ourselves. No confusion in your words. Happy to read and share the best inspirational How We React quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. If you can make the switch, youll quickly notice that you become happier. Remember this quote the next time you need the motivation to focus on letting go of uncontrollable circumstances. I believe we have more control than we think. 624 Likes, 9 Comments - Kasturi M ~ Indian Relationship Coach, MFT (@heymisstherapist) on Instagram: "You can only control how you react or respond to a partner's mood - good or bad. Now, of course, we already knew this as we have received a barrage of emails telling us that fact with varying degrees of animosity. What we need from you now is what weve always needed and talked about here: Courage. We hope that they inspire you too: A man has to learn that he cannot command things, but that he can command himself; that he cannot coerce the wills of others, but that he can mold and master his own will: and things serve him who serves Truth; people seek guidance of him who is master of himself. Learn more atOnePinky.com. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. To be able to spread the only positive form of contagion there is: calm. Practice shifting your mindset to the things you can control, and youll get much further in life. It can be very helpful to understand your reactions, and perhaps even their origins. The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding, How a Stronger Body Can Transform Your Identity, Two Questions to Help You Spot a Clingy Partner-to-Be. Breathe out deeply and breathe in again, this naturally calms the nervous system. Note that this cannot simply\n// be added to `.form-control` as it's not specific enough. Please see our Privacy Policy | Terms of Service, About | Cookie Policy | Editorial Policy | Contact | Do not sell my personal information |Cookie Settings. I can control my emotions, my attitude, my effort every day. Whatever your situation calls for, you will find creating space is an incredibly powerful part of becoming the person you aspire to be. When faced with situations that pull for some particular reaction, we can choose to respond instead. This year, I marked the day with a long hike in the woods near my house and an extra-long hug for my wife, Kathleen. Some of those choices include: We study Stoicism for moments like these. If you feel sick, stay at home. 500 matching entries found. Here are four tips to help you do it: Last year I wrote an article encouraging you to find your North Star. Now consider what the most intelligent . They control the pattern of consumption, entertainment, thinking. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. If we can do that, regardless of all the stress, Ill rack it up as a good day. | By bringing negative consequences to your awareness, you will be more motivated to change your reaction to a desired response. Spending your time thinking about the things you cant control will affect your mental health and well-being. In my experience, trying to control outside conditions rarely proves successful because reality is more powerful. Author Judy Blume is often credited with saying, How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. Youre Overthinking It: Find Lifelong Love By Being Your True Self, Manifesting for Beginners: A Step By Step Guide To Attracting A Life You Love, How You'll Do Everything Based On Your Zodiac Sign, 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think, How To Manifest Your Intentions And Attract What You Want, This Is How Death Can Change You For The Better, 30 Toxic Things You Need To Let Go Of By Age 30, 15 Phrases Youve Been Saying Wrong Your Whole Life, The Truth Is, Were More Than Human BeingsWere Human Doings. And I dont get upset over things I cant control, because if I cant control them theres no sense in getting upset. What You Need to Know If You Obsess About Weight Loss, On Making Positive Choices for a Happy, Empowered Life, If You Hate Your Body and Think You Need to Fix It, Relationship anxiety/commitment fear or just not the one, Something I realized about my anxiety attacks, Someone called me ugly and my gf agreed (indirectly), One of the Most Freeing Things We Learn in Life, 30 Simple Mindfulness Practices to Help You Focus and Be Present, 8 Things Not to Say to Someone Whos Struggling with Anxiety, Nothing You Do Will Be Enough If the Relationship Isnt Right, How I Stopped Being Everything I Hated About My Parents, How Restrictive Diets Mess with Our Brains and Lead to Bingeing. If you struggle with certain aspects of yourself, consider finding your space to respond, rather than reflexively react, by doing the following: Consider the person you would like to be: Think about the person you would like to be, especially in the areas in which you struggle. Use kind words, and always think before you speak. Spending time obsessing over the things you cant change only holds you back. Jimmy cant die! I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with My righteous right hand." 2. Rupi Kaur, You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair. We can control how we react. It's about us. Check out all the bonuses or sign up below. I bet that you will be surprised by how long that list becomes. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. We want to shift this so our time, energy, and resources are well spent, so we can solve our own problems, and . It bears repeating, because this is an important point: We dont have to like what is taking place, but we can accept it and work with our present conditions. - Jeffrey Gitomer. Michelle Obama. 5. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition. The only thing that we can control about change is how we react to it. Happiness is a choice you cannot choose what happens, but you can choose your reaction to it and be Happy. We can only control what we can control. But this is a false sense of control, because if we cannot control other people or external conditions, we are limited in our capacity to control reality. The bottom line is: You are in control of your reactions to things and how you view things. Instead, we ought to accept conditions as they are and change our perception of what is. Educate: dont spread misinformation about the virus. Dont touch your face, and cough into a tissue or your elbow. Learn to accept the things you cant control so that you can focus on what you can. And now, we are settling into damage control mode attempting to determine who did receive the faulty emails and beginning to determine the best way to reach out to them and apologize without making matters worse. Youre not helping, youre hurting. Billy Cox, No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy unless you let him. 5. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it.". We choose to quit jobs, get married, adopt an animal, but of course there are many life events we dont choosea divorce, an accidental pregnancy, or the death of a loved one. GET MORE FUN & INSPIRING IMAGES & VIDEOS. (Marc and I build tiny, life-changing daily rituals with our students in the "Goals and Growth" module of Getting Back to Happy .) Laura's Body Image Mastery programs are celebrated by thousands of women who have released their excess weight and reclaimed their self-esteem. In that space is our power to choose our response. Sheryl Lee, Reaction is what changes your understanding of the world. At the end of the day, the only thing you can control 100 percent of the time is your own attitude. For instance, you might want to learn skills in assertiveness, anger management, being more social, or relaxation. Jeff Kober, I dont get upset over things I can control, because if I can control them theres no sense in getting upset. You may want to lash out, but it is more of a victory to hold that desire in. There will be storms, but if you stay focused, youll get there. Did it turn out as expected? The single most important practice in Stoic philosophy is differentiating between what we can change and what we cant. Anger only makes things worse. Victor Frankl was clearly an extraordinary man. Chinese Proverb, Control your thoughts. You have control over your own actions, your own well-being. Laurais a frequent contributor to First for Women, Ladies Home Journal, and the Dr. Pat Show. The following collection of quotes are all about control and the power that we do have. The first course of action was to cancel whatever emails had not been sent. I know that its not always easy. Make them remote-access, if possible. Cancel or postpone events if you have them. If you focus only on controllable circumstances instead, youll notice an improvement in all areas. Steve Maraboli, Control what you can control. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. Self-discipline. If you do not receive our FREE daily email, sign up here. When we remember this, we feel in-charge, empowered, strong and ready to take on the world. These quotes will help you remember how to deal only with the situations that you can fix while letting go of the rest. We won't send you spam. When I ask this question to clients in my coaching practice, they often cite negative emotions, such as anger, frustration, hate, and disappointment. I'm sure all of us have faced such people before. React Positively. There are no right or wrong reactions, only what serves us and what doesnt. It is not bound by what happens to you, because a person who is accepting of reality is free to choose their attitude. When we can no longerchangea situation, we are challenged tochangeourselves. ~Viktor Frankl. Looking at what happened when I received that email, my immediate response was to get upset. James Allen, The sign of an intelligent people is their ability to control their emotions by the application of reason. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. Are you going to experience adventure or are you going to be limited by your fears? At the end of the day, we will rest easy knowing that we have done our best. You have to redefine what beauty is to you so you cant be affected by what people are saying. Instead, make sure others know how to best handle the spread of the virus. Happiness isnt just a result of your circumstances. Some people do try some nasty things to get at them and try and get a reaction from them. Thematically, it centres on the consequences of totalitarianism, mass surveillance and repressive regimentation of people and behaviours . In a similar vein, The Dalai Lama said, Pain is inevitable. He was gone, and my life changed that day forever. One wrong word can cause misunderstanding, leading to disruption and people being upset. Some will haunt us forever. In other words, our feelings, or judgments about our experiences, are . Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. When we forget this, it's easy to get lost in fear, negativity and a victim mindset - leaving us feeling powerless. All you can do is change how you react to it. But we can follow his lead by looking for the "space" in our own lives. It is won by disregarding things that lie beyond our control. They may or may not be relevant for your particular situation; and they should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional assistance. If youre having a tough time finding the good, heres a simple exercise: Take 10 minutes to make a list of everything that makes you smile, warms your heart or gives you a feeling of contentment in your life. Not only didnt the emails look the way they should, but even if someone could see past that and still want to click through, they couldnt. That means that you've missed 17 of them! In other words, the negative emotions you experience trying to control others or circumstances is lifes way of telling you to stay out of its business. And then that thought will lead how we react something. When you cant control something in your life, its normal to become upset about it. Positive affirmations, mantras, quotes all of . To be able to spread the only positive form of contagion there is: calm. Its FREE, Exclusive interviews with leading scholars on Stoicism, A Free Chapter from The Obstacle is the Way. Could you do this? As Zeno famously said, Well-being is realized in small steps, but it is no small thing.. Get outdoors if you're inside all the time. If youre someone with a platform, your number one obligation right now is to. John 13:7 Showing search results for "You Can Only Control Your Reaction" sorted by relevance. In essence, we do not have much control, if any. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. However, when we checked on the progress of the email this morning, it became clear that things were not as they should be. Regular e Reading quotes is motivating and uplifting for any part of life, including dealing with anxiety, worry, fear, and ov You might not think of divorced women as your go-to source for marriage advice. And of course, we know that thinking positive is way much better than the rest (you know what the rest. What you can control, as always, is how you respond. Yes, you miss them. You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them . But you can always control what goes on inside. All you really have is now. Votes: 1, Natural disasters are terrifying - that loss of control, this feeling that something is just going to randomly end your life for absolutely no reason is terrifying. We can pause, not act, breathe. PostedJuly 23, 2013 take time to Pause and remember this quote and how you can respond & what you can do. Thanks to the teachings of Buddha, I have been able to take this second way. All Rights Reserved. But you have a choice about how you view it. Kelley York Note how you feel. Focus on your North Star. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". Sometimes, for peace of mind, we need a little reminder of what is and what isnt in the realm of our control.