And yes I do still believe either directly or indirectly, mouth to mouth, tongue swapping French kissing caressing lead to sex. He was so drunk himself that he started singing I Love Paris and, in the middle of the song, he said in a gruff voice, You wanna kiss me? But for me, it was. When you go out and get drunk- if you find yourself attracted to another man- think back to how you feel now after you acted on that attraction. Such as crying,begging that would be enough for me to give them a second chance. The way I see things, there are innocent kisses, which occur when a person had too much to drink, and then there are guilty kisses, which are precipitated by getting drunk. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. I thanked him for telling me this and we didnt speak to one another for years. HIKARI, you can't take up an obsolete thread as your own, no matter any similarities, so if you want feedback and advice it's best to start a new one (and copy and paste that post into it as your opening post), okay? It happened two days ago. I'd be obsessed with it. Im guessing that theres a good chance you would have gone all the way if the piano teacher had gone for it. I feel sorry for the visually impaired but that doesn't mean I want a blind person flying my airplane and my compassion won't make the flight any safer. I calmly told him that I wasnt in love with him, but I did feel some attraction and that I accepted the liquor and the kiss because I was curious to find out if there was anything between us. A forum community dedicated to married life between you and your spouse. It's South of France for us this year, holiday-wise, and then in about a year-and-a-half's time we're off permanently to Espana (por favor). Guilt protects our relationships. 99% of us in this situation would do exactly as SUSIEQDD posted. Oh no worries soulmate, yes we do miss you We'll talk tomorrow. One day, he came over with a bottle of whisky and he had already been drinking. Well as far as my experience with sex,I would definitely say I'm not an expert. I feel like my husband deserves so much better, but can't tell him because the guy isn't some stranger, he's a person I see 5 days a week, and I know if tables were turned and I was in my husbands position I would wonder what interactions were happening between the two in work everyday. My wife left me because I had become emotionally unavailable. I put a blanket over her and sat back down next to the man. Finding it with someone else just accelerates the process. With the other woman just across the room! Oh, I see. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. At least I understood why our marriage failed and no further closure was needed. It takes to heal the wounded trust again. And, he did little favors for me. Simone was telling a caller how satisfy his girlfriend. Therefore, you might be surprised to learn the following facts about guilt: What can you do to address unresolved guilt? That's a long time for kissing. I thought we were talking, in context of the above-type scenario, about mouth-to-mouth kissing being a 'gateway to sex' for the fact of it sparking physical arousal, ergo, whether delayed or in-the-moment, counts as foreplay, ergo, infidelity (albeit, granted, at the thin area of that whole wedge). Later, I spoke to my fianc and he told me he loved me and was sorry. A couple of nights ago I went out to a work function. Updated January 27, 2023 by ReGain Editorial Team. Still, now that the courts are coming down wider and heavier on emotional abuse, I'm sure it's just a matter of time. I felt sick! A female friend of mine was staying at our house for the weekend. Not sure how anyone can say they're "certain" he doesn't need to know, given the fact that he made his own standards and expectations perfectly clear on that score, back when he himself was the 'victim' of a come-on. Becoz misunderstanding happn somtym and do miracles/ And ya most imp if u both want kids u shud adopt one. No, if it's sensible debate, based on *facts* rather than wishful thinking, that's fine. Im more than competent at the piano myself, but this guy was amazing. Maybe she was experimenting or it was something shed thought about and wanted to see what it felt like. Changing jobs or departments and without delay, those things that aren't rocket science, is definitely what I as a fractionally betrayed partner would call you putting your rueful money where your rueful mouth is - enough to help reassure permanently. Okay. Your guilt is your punishment. Mattia Insolia, Cieli in fiamme (Mondadori) con Valentina Berengo However most people don't have a commitment that SOULMATE has with her husband that they will be 100% Honest with each other NO MATTER WHAT! I feel like I am hypnotized by the guy. response. And has also started crying for no reason when things are going well between us. :-( Feel free to start a thread if you need to vent it all out.). / Houston, turns out I/you/I+You can't have kids the natural way after all, which is no-one's fault; let's try IVF / adopt / foster / console ourselves with the fact we'll always have each other, and the babies of people we know to borrow, and the freedom and greater financial means to please ourselves. Weve probably all known silly drunks, mean drunks and people who simply couldnt hold their liquor and vomited all over the place. He went on to tell me that he kissed another woman and he had to tell me, he couldn't keep it a secret from me. I've noticed that other threads here haven't lasted very long. Again I could go on with this subject,and I undoubtedly will. It really depends on the dynamics of your relationship though. In essence . If he is like me, its a choice. We were good friends for a few years and have dated in the past but nothing serious. I have to admire the guy for realizing that he was putting a marriage at risk, and backed away. He left and went to the lake. You have a number of choices in terms of how to deal with what happened. This. If you kissed a stranger, your significant other might just react by laughing or by telling you its okay. Because guilt typically occurs in "micro-bursts" of brief signals, we often underestimate the rather significant role it plays in our daily lives. I believe that over time this would have happened with or without the wiskey. I cannot tell you how much I love my boyfriend and how shocked I am about this. As far as crossed purposes,hmmmmmmmm not following you. I always prefer to know if something is going on than find out about it later, or worse, never find out at all (the idea of this chills me). Just my thoughts having been a victim of cheating. female I remember saying 'no, no, this is bad' in the middle of it, and he said 'I know but I really like you and I have done for ages', and he kissed me again, but this time only for a second because I said ' I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person' then he kinda just stroked my arm and said 'I know, your right, it's just I'm really attracted to you and couldn't not act on it, I'm sorry, you're right'. Despite their passion during the kiss though, thestraight guys (quite predictably)all saythey still identified asstraight. Is kissing someone else when drunk cheating? I dont drink, but had i been drinking i would have chosen home is the best place to be vulnerable lol! I Was Raised By A 90 Years Old Ninja - Facebook Life's a bleedin' mystery, ain't it? A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2006): Hey sweetie my Name is Jilian I have a boyfriend as well and we have been dating for 3 months, I have had past relationships that have gone on for 11 months, I have cheated on my past boyfriend andi felt so terrible andi was in the same situation as you are, sweetie i know how you feel. When we went to bed that night, I started crying because I realized what had happened and I felt confused and guilty all at the same time. To submit your vote please sign in or sign up, it is free and takes a few seconds. 2023 FemaleFirst Ltd. all rights reserved. SOULMATE: I accept the ASSuming Award. So if your planting includes a blight (guilty secret), please don't moan if it affects the crop yield. Either way, I've noted your comments, I've already decided what I am going to do, and I'll deal with the consequences, whatever they might be. Can Humans Detect Text by AI Chatbot GPT? I'm not going to let that or any insulting aspersions, subtle or otherwise, put me off. Except with other truth-seekers. i think OP is using 'kiss' to mean 'more than kiss', but whatever, it was 4 years ago in a rough patch.. everyone here is wrong. Scopes: Yes, the kids are the real victims. I was drunk but that is no excuse. It was important to hear the argument for doing what is right. drunk, kissing. I am NOT looking forward to spotting him in the corridor at workHOW EMBARRASSING!. Your significant other might get very angry about this, but I believe it depends more on whom you kissed rather than on the fact that you kissed someone else. A few people here will recommend MC but it really depends on what you can tolerate. It is the gateway to another feeling. Your guilt is your punishment. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): A One way to alleviate guilt is by taking action. NOT telling your partner is not protecting your partner and your marriage, it's self-protection against having to do the work called, Atonement, so you can ignore likeminded proponents whose choice from the excuses menu is that (yawn) telling your partner is a selfish act geared towards offloading some of the guilt when actually, perfectly logically, if the marriage is half theirs then so is the responsibility over the fact it degenerated to that point in the first place (excluding the choice-of-unilateral-action part, obviously)because that's how it works. Dont tell me that you and ______ (the girl who was staying at our house for the weekend) are lesbians? My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. This guy wouldnt take money from me (I should have seen this as a Red Flag, but didnt), so I bought him opera scores in order to compensate him for his time and expertise. And if you're not confessing - to the victim - you're dodging doing time. So, when he offered me whisky, I happily drank it until I was drunk as a skunk. I really have a problem believing but forgave her and weve been together another 20 yrs now and have 15 grand children hasnt ever really bothered me but about 3 yrs ago it hit me like of bolt of lightning out of nowhere and I cant get that night out of my mind, keep obsessing over what they might have done and how they spent the 4 or 5 hours that they were together outside the venue that night. I was devastated. Kissing a man, I've just got into over the past couple years. Before you close I'd like to say that I totally agree with you. Forget about it! I cant trust you anymore., You think that having too much to drink made it all right for you to kiss ______? As for this one, I think it's safe to say it's run its course for now. if you believe you have to tell him exactly as you did here , if your friends you were with are also his say he can ask them . How is that beneficial to him? The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding. We have only been seeing each other for the past two months and I dont want his mind racing with bad thoughts. When you conclude that your guilt is sending you an incorrect message, label your guilt as a false alarm, ignore it as best you can and make a fresh . Generally people dont care when it happens with others but when it happens with them, they may react very differently because human are emotional creatures. I wouldn't want him around the person. You're going through tests BY OTHERS to find out why you can't fall pregnant. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. But please seperate the issues. "Soz". Would they be as lenient? I feel like I like myself down and my husband down. Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! LOL I'm trying - with the utmost seriousness and sincerity - to advise you to keep your relationship rap-sheet completely squeaky clean. I kissed another girl while black out drunk, dont remember a thing. Then I ordered taxis, woke up the other girl and we left. You cheated. Make it up to him by being an awesome girlfriend. Plus, I *was* moreover affronted, meaning the guy got off lightly, because [1] I hadn't even caught his eye, [2] my wedding band is very thick thus too noticeable even from a distance, meaning his chat-up attempt was both un-instigated and unwanted, so [3] what sort of person did he think I WAS, just from looking at me?!